How can men develop a balanced, three-pronged approach to life-mentoring?

Ministry of Mentoring

by Joshua Burba

As anyone blessed with a mentor knows, mentoring empowers men to reach their God-given potential. Bible teacher Howard Hendricks wrote the book on mentoring. While speaking at a rally for men, Hendricks reminded men of three types of individuals they need in their lives. He said, “You need a Paul, you need a Barnabas, and you need a Timothy.” Let me tell you about three such men in my life.

Paul

By Paul, Hendricks refers to someone more spiritually advanced than you. He meant someone who will boost your walk with Christ, answer questions and listen to problems, and raise the bar of expectation to give you a target. God gave me such a man in my late teens, and he mentored me into my mid-20s. He took me under his wing and filled the missing gaps in my life.

He was especially helpful in demonstrating how a husband interacts with his wife. Because of God’s grace and my mentor’s example, I know how to be a godly husband for my wife. Even though my mentor is now in his 70s, our friendship remains strong, and I thank God that this Paul invested his life in me.

Barnabas

By Barnabas, Hendricks means a person on your level spiritually and emotionally. This person is often someone near your age, with similar life conditions to your own, who helps you address ideas, problems, questions, and practical issues of life. A Barnabas holds you accountable and challenges sin in your life. He speaks hard truths to you.

God gave me a Barnabas like that. We are both married and in our early 30s. We frequently enjoy deep conversations about anything from theology to politics, and all points in between. He teaches me to think before I speak, and he sharpens me as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). As the saying goes, “When iron sharpens iron, sometimes sparks fly.” This rings true in all relationships, including ours, but those times only tighten and deepen our bond. I praise the Lord for this Barnabas in my life.

Timothy

By Timothy, Hendricks refers to someone less spiritually advanced than you whom you take under your wing and mentor. This person comes to you for advice, for answers to his questions, and for direction as he matures.

God has also blessed me with a Timothy. I befriended a young man while living in Romania in 2007 and took him under my wing. Though we are now separated by the Atlantic Ocean, he often calls me regarding major life decisions, to discuss theological issues, or just to talk. Due to his growing maturity and godliness, I anticipate seeing God use him greatly. I am so glad that God gave me a Timothy.

Balanced Approach

Spiritual wellbeing depends on surrounding ourselves with these three types of men at all times. Regardless of age or spiritual maturity, we all need someone wiser to advise us, someone on our level to shoot straight with us, and someone to pour ourselves into as well.

I like the way Robert Coleman said it, “The wandering masses of the world must have a demonstration of what to believe. they must have a mentor who will stand among them and say, ‘Follow me, I know the way.’”

Final Challenge

What about you? I challenge you to find a Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy. If you need a Paul, look first to your parents or an older member of your church. If you want a Barnabas, reach out to a sibling or develop friendships with those your age at church. If you need a Timothy and are a parent, invest yourself in your children, making disciples of them before they leave the nest. If this is not possible, reach out to a young man needing direction.

The point is—do something, and do it now! Take up the challenge today and embrace a balanced approach to mentoring in your life.

About the Writer: Joshua Burba is a May 2010 Christian Education graduate of Free Will Baptist Bible College. He and his wife look forward to life after college.