Creating a Culture of Family
A guiding principle of our ministry in Chicago is found in the Parable of the Good Samaritan, Luke 10:25-37. These verses teach us to be committed to those outside of the church. In a very real sense, the main question of the parable is not, “Who is my neighbor” but “Are we willing to be a neighbor?”
Too often we meet the needs of others with excuses rather than action. We explain away our unwillingness to serve others by stating our desire to be good stewards and citing our fear that people outside the church will “use us” or “rip us off.” Rather than sacrificially extending ourselves to serve others, we sacrilegiously excuse our selfishness.
The blueprint of the New Testament Church we find in the second chapter of Acts teaches us to go beyond making people our neighbors; we are to make them family. Active fellowship plays an important role in accomplishing that goal. The Greek word for fellowship is koinonia, which can also be translated community, neighborhood, subdivision, or family. Much of the fellowship in today’s world seems shallow—a meal and light discussion with very little service and virtually no accountability. When confronted by the needs and hurts of others, too often the reply is a simple, “I’ll be praying for you.” Gordon MacDonald once said, “You can tell whether you are becoming a servant by how you act when somebody treats you like one.”
Personal Family
“How many children do you have?” When I am asked this question I often respond, “Oh, we have three or four. It depends on how you count them.” The story that lies behind this answer is a result of our philosophy of “community.” Several years ago, a single mom named Pam Owen attended an outreach event. She came to my office for follow-up counseling and responded well by getting on a budget and getting out of debt. My wife, Pam, and Pam Owen became very close friends. Over the next few years, we ministered to Pam in various ways from shoveling snow and mowing grass to repairing her toilet. My wife called her often and invited her to go shopping, out for dinner, and to come to church. Her daughter Stephanie spent the night with our daughters. We car-pooled our kids to the same school. We were like family.
In September of 1996, Pam Owen accepted Christ as her Savior. Shortly after that decision, her daughter Stephanie also accepted Christ. I was so blessed when I baptized them at the same time. Now, we were a spiritual family.
Some time later, Pam met and married a man from Russia. While she was expecting a baby, childhood cancer returned. James was born a few weeks early and Pam Owen began chemotherapy. However, it soon became clear that, barring a miracle of healing, she was not going to live another year. What happened next is still unclear in my mind. My wife and I cannot remember ever having a discussion with Pam about taking in her children. It seemed such a natural thing because we were like family. Pam Owen retained a lawyer, and papers were drawn up for us to adopt Stephanie. Because James had a different father, we could not adopt him, but his father did agree for us to become guardians and to care for him. The adoption of Stephanie and guardianship of James became final June 27, 2002. Pam Owen lost her battle with cancer on July 22, 2002 and went home to be with the Lord.
Pam and I now have our two natural children, Becky and Julie (far right), our adopted daughter, Stephanie (middle), and James (left), for whom we are parental guardians. That’s three or four children depending on how you count them. Now we are not like family…we are family.
Still Trying
I shared this story as an example of what family should really be—serving and sacrificing. I did not share this to receive accolades. The truth is, I have failed at truly living biblical “community” many more times than I have succeeded.
In the world, people use people to gain power, position, and possessions. Christians should be using power, position, and possessions to gain people. I challenge you to ask yourself if you are truly living biblical “community,” or is your relationship to others in word only? When is the last time you were willing to sacrificially meet the needs of others in the church? When was the last time you were willing to sacrificially meet the needs of those outside of the church? Think about it.
David Potete serves as home missionary to Chicago, Illinois. To find out more about the Potetes or about the ministry of the National Home Missions Department, visit their website at www.northwestfwb.org
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