Confronting 40

By Jeremy Estep

I have never understood the term mid-life crisis. By definition, it is an emotional crisis of
identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age. Some people go through this stage of life, and it has zero effect on their lives; some struggle a bit with the dreaded turn of the decade. For others, turning 40 has detrimental consequences on everyone around them. My dad provided a tragic example when he was about my age. Sadly, it broke our home and led my parents to divorce.

I have determined to make my marriage work, and to understand the darker side of confronting 40. I always thought I would age gracefully and respectfully, handling the “old man” jokes and barbs well. It truly doesn’t seem possible that I have reached this moment—the Big 4-0. But here I am. I spend evenings doing “old man” things like sitting on the porch, mowing, puttering around the house—simply enjoying life with a loving wife and three awesome boys. Life is awesome, and even at age 40, I enjoy every minute of it.

Recently, my wife Becky and I were enjoying a beautiful evening on the porch of our eastern Kentucky home. I looked over at her and said, “I am going to tell you something crazy, and it has nothing to do with my love for you…I think I am going through a mid-life crisis.” She just laughed and said, “What makes you think that?”

I still find myself amazed at God’s hand. I am enjoying the seventh year of my current pastorate. I work a secular job, pastor the church, serve as state moderator, and strive to be the best husband and father I can. Still, I can’t help but wonder, “Am I doing enough?” I ask this question in response to Paul’s admonition to Timothy to make “full proof” of his ministry. Burnout has no place in my thoughts, and the thought of a mid-life crisis seems foolish to me. I want to make God proud of me, and I want to fulfill His calling in my life—the driving force in everything I do.

To call turning 40 a crisis, in my opinion, sadly discounts the power of God in my life and ministry. The term crisis is defined as a time of intense difficulty or trouble. Wow! My life isn’t difficult or troubled. The adjectives happy, blessed, peaceful, and miraculous are far better descriptions of my life as I approach mid-life.

I have returned to Galatians 2:20 numerous times during the past few weeks, remembering, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

When I read that verse, my restless spirit is humbled. How ironic I could have a moment of spiritual doubt when the power of God is evident in my life and His ministry.

I have spent the better part of my life outrunning this term mid-life crisis. I have seen the effect it can have, and I have never wanted to let it influence me for a second. I live by the “faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” This is a beautiful reminder I am not going through a mid-life crisis; I am going through a mid-life transformation. God is preparing me for the next leg of my race as He guides me into middle age.

If you are pushing 40, 50, or even more, stop worrying about your work, performance, desires, pulpit ministry, prayer life, singing, and teaching and simply remember this advice from Isaiah 49:11: “And I will make all my mountains a way, and my highways shall be exalted.”
If you are struggling, remember where God brought you from…and where He is going to take the faithful. I’m not only confronting 40, I welcome 40!

About the Writer: Jeremy Estep is pastor of Baker Branch FWB Church and moderator of the Kentucky State Association. He is a field representative for Randall House Publications.