Connecting Church and Home

by Tim Kimmel

Strong churches don’t make strong families…strong families make strong churches.

Defensive pastors will probably want to argue this point, but why? Because it’s not true? Or because if it is true, does it stand as an indictment on our churches? Well, it is true, but it’s not an indictment. Not even close. It’s simply an observation of the obvious. Churches have, at best, a drive-by exposure to a child’s ongoing spiritual development. It’s a well thought-through exposure offered by some of the most gracious and loving people you’d want to find. But a child’s parents represent the main spiritual influence on their lives—24/7/365.

But we need strong churches, and we need strong families regardless of who “rubs the other’s back” the most. We need them because the big story isn’t about churches, families, pastors, or parents.

It’s about God.

It’s about the God who climbed on a cross at the confluence of history to redeem individuals who would ultimately make up our family portraits and congregate our churches. The family and the church are the only cradle-to-the-grave entities that God created to carry out his primary Kingdom agenda. He meant for them to dance with each other to the rhythms of redemption. But busy churches and hurried families are operating more like break dancers than dance partners.

Let’s add in a sexualized culture as the backdrop to this picture, and things get even murkier. Throw in the specialization mindset that slipped out the back door of the 20th century to take center-stage in the 21st century, and parents naturally assume spiritual heavy-lifting for their kids can only be done by church professionals who went to seminary and know how to parse Greek verbs.

No problem. Churches are ready to step up with their state-of-the-art facilities and second-to-none programs to meet this challenge. But where does this mindset end up? It ends with parents abdicating spiritual gate-keeping responsibilities and outsourcing them to over-extended and under-appreciated professionals at church.

After a while, the professionals realize all this “sub-contracting” of the parent’s responsibilities has left them feeling like they’re little more than program directors on evangelical cruise ships. The problem is that none of this really works.

There’s a better way to deal with these challenges, and the book Connecting Church and Home will show you how. It demonstrates how churches and parents can work in concert to make the other’s efforts have far more impact. It not only builds the case but lays out a plan that can be tailored to any church or family to bring out the spiritual best in their kids. It moves from abstract to concrete, from general to specific, and from possibility to a plan—all under the umbrella of God’s amazing grace.

Connecting Church and Home is about a grace-based partnership that raises the spiritual “stock value” of both entities for the benefit of the next generation and God’s glory. Church professionals, executives, and lay-leaders who read it in concert will gain a clearer big picture, a common language for what they’re trying to do to equip families. And moms and dads will gain practical (brand new to some) guides to use as they exercise their spiritual influence to send truly great Jesus-followers from their back rooms and bedrooms into a future in desperate need of hope.

About the Writer: Dr. Tim Kimmel is the Executive Director of Family Matters, a non-profit ministry that equips families to appropriate God’s grace in every age and stage of life. To order your copy of Connecting Church and Home, visit www.RandallHouse.com.

A Review of Connecting Church and Home:
A Grace Based Partnership

Parents and pastors alike should read Dr. Kimmel’s latest book, Connecting Church & Home.

In the opening chapters, Dr. Kimmel challenges the reader to think of the family unit as a “domestic church” and the church as a “gathering of domestic churches.” This emphasizes the critical role and responsibility of parents as ministers to their children. He warns parents about the danger of subcontracting this ministry to church or schools, stressing the need for a homegrown faith.

In a chapter on homegrown faith, Kimmel provides the reader with the examples of two parents who attended the same church (same nursery, classes, heard the same sermons) and possessed many similarities yet had different outcomes for their children.

The difference, Kimmel noted, was that one couple took the responsibility of spiritual maturity very seriously. Using the Marine Corp as an example for an organization that is driven by philosophy, Kimmel stresses the need for parents and churches to focus upon a correct (grace based) philosophy and that our strategy and tactics should flow from that philosophy.

He presents a plan that can work with families and churches of all sizes, stressing the importance of parents dialing into their child’s heart and churches allowing kids to be themselves (as long as they do not violate biblical or moral standards). He ably discusses some of the common concerns parents and church leaders often have when people discuss grace by addressing those fears.

Kimmel breaks down four dimensions of grace-based parenting (ministry): greatness, character, freedoms, and inner needs and provides a detailed explanation about how this works.

His chapter on “The Happiest Most Gracious Place on Earth” is especially valuable. It is filled with resources for churches and parents to help them develop a grace for all seasons.

About the Reviewer: Edward E. Moody, Jr. is a professor, pastor and writer.  He has been a counselor educator at North Carolina Central University since 1995, and served as a pastor at Tippett’s Chapel since 2000.  He has written the book First Aid for Emotional Hurts, and a series of booklets entitled First Aid for Your Emotional Hurts.