The Diagnosis: Walking Through a Child's Chronic Illness
By Sarah Lawson
January 5, 2018, is a day forever burned into my memory, a day that
changed my daughter’s — and our entire family’s — way of life forever.
At only ten years old, my youngest daughter, Emily Joy, had been battling frightening symptoms. Finally, we had an answer: Type 1 Diabetes (T1D).
What now? Where do we go from here? How will this affect her? These were among the many questions I asked the doctor, as I struggled with feelings of guilt, despair, and fear welling up inside. I had done some research on T1D, but I was not at all prepared for this.
The next few weeks brought much training and education. We learned T1D is an autoimmune disease Emily had from birth, and a virus set the disease in motion. As a result, her body no longer produced enough insulin. Emily would have to monitor her blood sugar constantly and receive multiple insulin injections daily for the rest of her life.
The crisis also reminded us of the strength we had observed in Emily over the years. Emily arrived six weeks early and required a week-long stay in a neo-natal intensive care unit for help with breathing and eating. She spent another two weeks in the hospital before coming home on oxygen, which was required for months. She had already suffered through minor surgeries and been diagnosed with other issues. We had watched her fight for a decade, and we knew she was a strong girl. However, watching her give herself a shot of insulin for the first time was something altogether different. But she took charge of her illness, and she became my hero.
As a mom, it has been extremely difficult to watch my baby face the constant challenges of a chronic illness. And yes, I still encounter moments of guilt, despair, fear, and caregiver fatigue. Through those challenging moments, I have been encouraged by the words of Psalm 139:14: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Marvellous are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.” I have used this verse many times when talking with Emily about her differences, reminding her God created her exactly the way He did for a purpose. He equipped her to live this life.
One day, in a moment of T1D helplessness, God quietly reminded me that not only did He create Emily uniquely and purposefully, but He also created me uniquely and purposefully to be her mom and to walk with her through this illness. He knew all these things were going to happen to Emily before He created me and formed me.
Even more personal, He is the reason I have always been so inquisitive (sorry, Mom and Dad), have always had a stubborn streak (again, sorry, Mom and Dad), and have always had the desire to find answers to tough questions. He knew I would need those characteristics to research, educate, and advocate for Emily and others with T1D.
It is incredibly comforting to know the God who created us did so with care, planning, and love. He wants to help guide us through all the things of life. This may not be a divine revelation to you, but in that moment, it hit me like a bolt of lightning. God cares so deeply for us He takes time to remind us constantly of promises He has made and kept!
Pain, fear, fatigue, and frustration will always be a part of this journey. I will always encourage Emily to talk about those feelings, cry with her, pray with her for strength to get through difficult moments, and lean into Jesus for comfort on the hardest of days. But we will also continue to celebrate good days and remember God has not failed us, and He never will. We can witness with the prophet Jeremiah that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, and His faithfulness is great (Lamentations 3:22-23).
About the Writer: Sarah Lawson and her pastor husband Jimmy have two beautiful teenage daughters: Olivia and Emily. Sarah enjoys being able to help others with life, especially teaching people how to use technology while helping them remember they have much to offer the Kingdom of God.
