Fearfully Made

By Jennifer Thomsen

Do you have a daughter who struggles with self-image? Are you at a loss about how to help her? Maybe you have told her she is beautiful until you are blue in the face, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. This generation is no different than yours and mine. The teen years are still difficult.

It’s not a new phenomenon for girls to compare themselves to thin, beautiful models and actresses, or to measure themselves against peers they believe are prettier or more athletic.
With competing voices from media and peers, how do we as parents and youth workers help our girls understand their worth does not spring from how they view themselves, or how others view them? How do we help them recognize and tune out the subtle thoughts the devil plants in their minds?

The simple truth is God made everyone. Every person is beautifully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13-16 is straightforward:

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

God made each person unique. Before anyone saw or even knew about us, God put thought into the person we would become. No one is made by accident—an amazing truth. We are created exactly the way God wants us.

Your teen might not jump for joy when you share these verses with her. If she is longing to be a bit taller or shorter, to have straighter or curlier hair, to have clear skin or a different nose, reading that she has been made that way on purpose might not sound ideal. Social media and television are so full of seemingly perfect people, it can be easy to wish for something unattainable.

How do we help our girls see themselves as beautifully and wonderfully made? It’s our job to remind them constantly. This is not a one-time conversation. You must reiterate this fact over and over and over again. Teens are often unkind to each other, and Satan’s lies can easily become ingrained. We must continually remind girls (and guys) they don’t have to compare themselves to other people. They don’t have to look like everyone else at their school.

They need to be reminded when they see their reflection in the mirror they are beautifully and wonderfully made. Leave sticky notes on a mirror or other visible place to remind them of this fact. In our home, we have a large wall mural proclaiming we are beautifully and wonderfully made. Simple reminders in everyday life can reinforce this truth.

Because we are beautifully and wonderfully made, we also must take care of our human bodies. First Corinthians 3:16-17 says, “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” As we remind our girls God created them beautifully, we must teach them to honor their bodies by eating well, exercising, and going to the doctor regularly.

It’s worth noting that, for some girls, a simple decoration or reminder that they are beautiful will not be enough. Some girls who struggle with self-image may need additional support or even professional help. If you suspect depression, anxiety, or another form of emotional or mental illness, please seek medical advice. There is no shame in finding the help they need.

Finally, we must remember to practice what we preach. As we teach girls they do not need to compare themselves to others, remind them they are beautiful, and teach them to honor their bodies, be sure you are doing the same. Are you comparing yourself to women in magazines or on television, or even your peers? Do you celebrate the way God created you, or does your
daughter hear you complain about the way you look?

Our children are watching and listening, even when we don’t think we are teaching. Let us teach them in actions and in words that they are wonderfully and fearfully made.

About the Writer: Jennifer Thomsen has worked with IM, Inc., since August 2012. She and her husband Eric attend Bethel FWB Church near Ashland City, Tennessee, and have one daughter, Victoria, who recently graduated from Welch College. Jennifer enjoys baking, snorkeling, and exploring new places. Find more resources to help girls and women at WNAC.org