Grandparents’ Day rolls around every year in September. I am pretty sure it’s a Hallmark™ holiday, invented just to sell more cards. Still, I don’t want to overlook the crucial role grandparents can play in shaping future generations.
I don’t hold myself up as the best example. I have great intentions that lack follow through. I love my five grandchildren (plus one in-law) deeply, but I’m not great at this job — just like I was not great at being a mother. But I’m the one my bunch got. They’re stuck with me, and I want to do my best.
God has given us an important role as grandparents, and it’s a scriptural imperative (Deuteronomy 6:1-2; Deuteronomy 4:9; Psalm 78:4-8). I especially like the urgency in the psalmist’s words in Psalm 71:18: “Now also when I am old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to everyone that is to come.”
Grandparenting comes with a blessing. Proverbs 17:6 describes grandchildren as the “crown” of their grandparents. I can personally say that, in my old age, my grandchildren are a blessing to me. They are a joy and comfort. They delight me. I don’t care how many fingerprints are on the door, or how many toys are on the floor. I’m okay with surprise company, even hungry surprise company. I’m willing to sit through choir concerts and soccer games and wait in carpool line. My grandchildren nourish me.
I look forward to meeting one biblical grandmother in Heaven: Lois. She was mentioned by name in 2 Timothy 1:5 because of her legacy of faith. Paul acknowledged that faith started first in her, was shared with her daughter Eunice, and together, they passed it to Timothy. What a wonderful pattern for all of us! Generational discipleship invests in our children and grandchildren.
On a side note: notice, these faithful women also let Timothy go. They allowed him to join Paul on his missionary journeys. They equipped Timothy, but they saw themselves only as stewards. Timothy was free to follow God’s call. And I’m sure Lois and Eunice missed him dreadfully and prayed for him every day.
So, how do we instill a legacy of faith in our grandchildren? We have limited time with them, and sometimes, we struggle to connect in meaningful ways. They keep growing up on us!
How can we relate when our technology and vocabulary and energy levels don’t match theirs? Consider some
timeless reminders.
Model godly living. Kids crave authenticity and stability. You give them hope and security as your faith sustains you. You become a rock, giving evidence that Christianity is true. You set a course for following Christ and evaluating other relationships. We won’t be perfect, but we can invite our grandchildren into our journey of growing and walking with Jesus. Your life will teach even more than your words.
Demonstrate what you value. If you say Bible study is important, but never open your Bible, young people quickly catch on. So, be and do and give — and then speak. Let your family know what you truly value by the way you invest your time and treasure.
Get off the pedestal. Be real with your family about your struggles and the way God has helped you. Admit life is not perfect. Don’t be afraid to have the fur rubbed off in a few places and show your scars. God is glorified in broken vessels.
Share your experiences. Start young, when the grandchildren still think a day with you is an adventure. Live life together as much as possible. My grandparents lived states away, so visiting with them meant 24/7 connections. After a few days, the real deal is bound to show through. This glimpse below the surface authenticates your faith beyond what your words and Bible stories convey.
Weave the things of the Spirit into the everyday. Our faith in the one true God is not a clothing accessory. It is our skin, the blood pumping through our veins, our life. If faith is real, it should show up in everyday attitudes and activities. With your morning coffee or during grocery store runs, at the office, in traffic, at the ballpark or gym. Speaking about what you’re finding in God’s Word or hearing from Him in prayer is not a “let me give a speech” event; it’s part of everyday conversation shared with your children and grandchildren. Don’t wait for spectacular moments. Just share the everyday joy of your sanctified routines of walking with Jesus.
Create opportunities. My granddaughters reminded me recently they always made something when they came to our house as children — an art project, a batch of cookies, or a gift for someone. I didn’t realize that was a memory for them, but I am happy we worked together. They felt involved and connected with me in our everyday activities. But there’s also value in taking grandchildren on focused adventures where you express big ideas and share your heart. I think this is especially meaningful in one-on-one situations. Plan outings and memories that offer space to connect without the clock ticking. Watch for opportunities to teach. (Car rides are especially great opportunities for conversation, especially with grandsons.)
Never undermine their parents. Help them love and respect the parents God gave them. Your tone will help them obey joyfully. Guard against any hint of disrespect. You may not agree with their parents’ choices, but you don’t have to announce that. Do everything you can to help grands honor their parents.
Don’t compete with the “other” grandparents. Honor them. Be thankful others can help shape your grandchildren. No matter how good or how bad they are, speak of them with respect. One of the other grandmothers in my life is an exceptional artist. I am not an artist. But if they want to draw pictures with me, it’s still fine. I’m not after some prize. If the other grandparents’ Christmas budget is $1,000 each, fine. Mine isn’t. We are not in a contest. We share the goal of wanting the best for our grandchildren.
Continue learning and help your grandchildren love to learn, too. You will never learn enough. Maybe your mind is old and tired, but it may only be out of shape. Study! Memorize! Sing! Explore! Discover! Read! Learn how to connect to others and how to love Jesus better. Discover new things to discuss beyond who is in the hospital or at the funeral home.
Collect props. Often, we tell stories better with photos or belongings. A jar of feathers reminds me of God’s faithful concern after my sweet husband’s death. When someone asks me about the jar, I’m ready to share my testimony. I point to the souvenirs of God’s grace like I share the mementos I’ve brought home from vacations.
Be a listener. Invite your grandchildren to share. It’s hard to be heard when your parents are both working and busy. You don’t get many chances to talk when you are the middle child or the baby (or even the oldest). So, listen. Sometimes the most memorable conversations are the ones where you keep your mouth closed.
Point them to models. Help them appreciate other believers, ancestors, friends, and mentors. Share biographies that may lead them to spiritual development.
Dream for them. Help them recognize their gifts and encourage growth in those areas. Suggest careers and hobbies that build on those gifts. Help them see their potential, designed by God. And when that dream takes them around the world, let them go. God’s plan is a good plan, even if it is far from you.
Be a safe place. Love them deeply. You’ll still need discipline and boundaries, but never let them doubt your love for them. At my grandmother’s funeral, all eight of us girl cousins claimed she had “loved me best.” Our sweet grandmother loved us individually, completely. Your unchanging, unfailing love will point your children and grandchildren to Jesus better than any sermon or rule. Love them like Jesus loves them — unconditionally.
Celebrate the good. Focus on the good and celebrate the positive. Discover the best things about each grandchild. Avoid comparisons. Bring out their strengths and highlight their improvements. Be every grandchild’s best cheerleader. Measure this way: whether your grandchildren are age 3 or 33, try to say three positive things for every negative comment. (Then just drop the negative.)
Tell stories. Of course, Bible stories are wonderful. Tell them. Work on your storytelling skills and make them good! (Hey, I tell a great story about Gideon.) But don’t be limited to Bible stories. Describe your own life, your children, your grandchildren in their earlier days. Tell about history, your community, your salvation, your mistakes and victories. Yes, you can tell “The Three Bears,” too, but the kids can hear that elsewhere. My aunt keeps a Google doc for her youngest granddaughter, adding stories from her life every few days. Sometimes, it’s only a sentence: Uncle Buddy and I used to sit on top of the icebox and eat mustard from the jar. Other times, the story is longer, more detailed and structured. Stories help give us identity and connection. You’re the last person who knows some of those stories. Share them generously. You might be surprised how much your grandchildren love and remember them. Worried you’ve told the story before? Quit worrying. Repetition improves memory. Tell them until your grandkids can tell them. They really don’t mind repetition.
Help fund spiritual growth. What has helped you grow as a Christian? Make it a point to fund church camp. I give each grand a devotional book every Christmas. Help fund Christian school or college. Give toward a mission trip or a trip to the Vertical Three Youth Conference. Be an enabler to help grandchildren know Jesus better.
Write letters. Who doesn’t love to get mail? If you have something on your heart, choose your words carefully and positively and write them down. I promise they’ll keep your letter. Text messages are fine, too, but they aren’t as memorable. A card with money is wonderful, of course, but you’re not limited to birthdays and holidays. Put it on paper. Make it suit the occasion. Perhaps write a letter to each grandchild as a testimony and blessing for each one. No one will interrupt, and it can be a permanent keepsake to challenge them in years to come. Be deliberate and thoughtful with a special letter as your grandchild leaves for college, starts a new job, or gets married. It will be worth the price of the stamp.
Pray. If you are not praying for your grandchildren, who is? Right now, I am praying particularly for each grandchild on one day of the week. This plan helps me focus individually on one grandchild’s needs each day. Pray for protection from sin, for those who influence them, for their growth in righteousness. Choose a Scripture verse to pray over them in each season. This is spiritual warfare! Fight for their futures on your knees.
Perhaps some of you wish you had grandchildren, but right now you’re stuck with granddogs. You still have a wonderful opportunity to minister to generations to come. Find a child who needs your love. In their eighties, my parents attended “grandparents’ day” at school for two boys in our church whose grandparents lived states away.
I can still tell you without hesitation that some child needs you. Some child wants you to say hello, would gladly eat a pizza at your house, or would enjoy the candy bar you share at church. Plan a trip for ice cream or send a “praying for you” at the start of school. You can borrow a grandkid. Nobody has too many grandparents. You still have a part in sharing the gospel with the next generation.
Please, keep doing the good things you are doing for your grandchildren. Every day. On purpose. Even when it’s hard. Know your labor of love is not in vain, and don’t grow weary in welldoing. It will make a difference!
About the Writer: Carol Reid works part-time in the editorial department at D6 Family Ministry. Her five grandchildren — ages 3 to 23 — are the joy of her life, and she is delighted about a great-grandchild on the way.
