Growing Up Army

By Tabitha Austin Crowley

It is a privilege to support our men and women in uniform, no matter the branch of military they serve. Me, personally? I happen to have a lot of experience with Army life—two very different types of experiences—yet both have been great privileges.

Growing up, my dad was gone a lot. Not that he wanted to be, mind you, but he was an Army chaplain. He went where he was told. Sometimes, that meant he missed a birthday or a holiday, but we still celebrated. Mom made sure my brother and I always had a birthday cake, Christmas stockings, a Thanksgiving meal, or whatever the occasion called for. Sometimes, we waited a couple of days or celebrated a few days early to have our daddy there. If we had to celebrate while he was gone, he would always call to tell us “Happy Birthday” or “Merry Christmas.” Family is special whether you’re with them physically or halfway around the world.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. —Proverbs 22:6

I learned early that we have to celebrate every day we can, but that didn’t always matter to me. During my first year in college, my dad was deployed, and I wanted badly for him to make it home for my 18th birthday. Never mind he was halfway around the world serving the country. I was turning 18, and it was all about me. I’m still not quite sure how he pulled it off, but Dad walked through the front door on my birthday. It was the best present ever, and I’m convinced he did that just for me.

My second year of college brought a change. Chris and I met at church and began dating. Soon, he was my best friend. He got along with my family, and he asked me to go meet his family who lived 12 hours away. Things were getting serious. When he asked my dad for permission to marry me, he was sure my dad would say no. Chris even asked me if I was sure after I had said “Yes!”

Even though I was only 19, I knew I wanted to marry this cute soldier and didn’t ever want to live without him. We were young and in love. We began making plans to marry the next year, with no idea what was coming our country’s way. It was 2003, and we kept hearing chatter about upcoming deployments, but we weren’t at war…yet.

Love sometimes makes you do crazy things. We decided we didn’t want to plan a wedding or have to change the date. Rather, we thought, “Why not this Friday?”

It was amazing how our church family pulled together to give us a real wedding in only five days. Honestly, I never cared about a big wedding anyway. I cared about the life we would build together. I cared about wearing a pretty white dress and having my daddy walk me down the aisle to the man I loved. That was all I really wanted. We couldn’t have made a better decision.

Two weeks to the day after we were married, Chris left for his first deployment. What was scheduled to be a three to six-month deployment turned into a whole year. People say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Ours was definitely hard, but not the way we would have thought.
There was no infrastructure in Iraq in 2003. We weren’t able to email, Skype, FaceTime, or send Facebook messages. There was only a satellite phone the soldiers got to use occasionally, so I only heard his voice a couple of times a month. My phone went everywhere with me. It was never on silent, and I never forgot it at home. We wrote letters—actual letters with pen and paper—and mailed them through the post office. I could get a letter from Chris in a matter of days, but it would sometimes take weeks for him to receive mine. I guess it was difficult to find the right battalion in the desert. It was hard, but we persevered. When he finally made it home the next year, we truly began our married life.

All the lessons I learned growing up Army were put into practice when Chris and I were learning what it meant to be married. We became partners in this crazy Army life. Whether it was making decisions about the future, money, children, school, or career, we always worked together.

Remember the lesson I learned from my mom? I taught our own kids that celebrating holidays or birthdays isn’t exactly about the day, but rather, it’s about family. It’s about being together whenever you can. It’s about knowing you are loved and special. I’m so thankful for the strong family I am from and the strong family we have built. I used to think God wouldn’t give us more than we could handle, but now I realize He gives us a little more than we can handle, so we learn to depend on Him.

But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. —2 Corinthians 10:17

Chris and I have been married for 18 years now and have three amazing daughters. He retired from the Army after 20 years, 18 deployments, and innumerable school and work trips. He is now beginning a new career outside of the military, and I am starting graduate school while working in our church’s children’s ministry. To say I’m proud of the life we have built would be an understatement. Not pride in us, but in what God has done for us and through us.

It is the greatest blessing of all to have such godly, honorable men to love. I am proud of the two main men in my life. I’m proud of their sacrifices and their willingness to serve our country. I’m proud of the example they have shown our daughters. They have honor and bravery, humility and strength, and a love for God, their family, and country. It’s no wonder my favorite Bible verse is John 15:13: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

About the Writer: Tabitha Austin Crowley is the daughter of retired chaplain Terry Austin. She is a military spouse married to retired Sergeant First Class Chris Crowley, and is the mother of three daughters. She is currently enrolled in graduate courses and deeply involved with her church. She has been around military life since childhood. Learn more about Free Will Baptist chaplain ministry at FWBNAM.com/chaplaincy