Intentional Grandparenting

By Jerry and Barbara Gibbs

“Popi, did you know Chuck Norris is the only person who has counted to infinity twice?”

“No, but did you know Chuck Norris can speak Braille?”

Come sit at our supper table during a sleepover evening with some of our favorite people in the world—our grandkids. The knock-knock jokes get sillier as the sloppy joes disappear.

You have heard being a grandparent is awesome. It is! Speaking into the lives of our grandchildren is one of the greatest privileges and blessings we have as grandparents. These moments come in many forms, even through Chuck Norris jokes. After sleepover evenings, with teeth brushed and pajamas on, we all gather in the boys’ bedroom. Someone asks to read the Bible story. After the story, questions and discussion bounce back and forth. It can get theological in an instant. Prayer time quietens their young minds and reveals a bit of their hearts. Then, perhaps to delay bedtime, someone invariably has one last joke, and the “sillies” return.

It is important to create traditions, and sleepovers have become just that. Our pre-Christmas sleepover is a favorite. The grands write their own Christmas stories or draw pictures and decide which song they want to rehearse to sing for the whole family on Christmas Day. One year, they learned to do “Silent Night” in sign language—impressive and moving. Last year, we enjoyed a trumpet solo, a piano solo, and the carol they chose as a group, “O Holy Night.” The ten-year-old wrote a script. It was outstanding and memorable. For Popi and Nana, it was unforgettable.

We are blessed to live close to many of our 11 grandchildren. We attend soccer games, school plays, and music concerts. We try to be there whenever we can to say, “You did a great job!” or offer a hug and say, “That was a tough game, wasn’t it? Even though you lost, I’m proud of you; you played hard!”

In 3 John 4, John wrote, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” If we as grandparents have the same longing to see our children’s children walk in truth, we must be intentional in our words and actions.

As John urges, we must first “follow not that which is evil, but that which is good” (verse 11). Our grandchildren must see goodness and truth in our lives, so they value it in their own. A quick trip to the grocery store with Popi can teach our grandchildren volumes about how to treat people with respect or respond to an angry driver.

We grab intentional moments like jewels, precious as they are. One of those jewels is simply the time we spend listening and asking questions. This intentional listening is a gift to us and them as we learn what is important to them and the troubles they face. Many young ones suffer from the pain of broken homes or blended families. A loving grandparent can offer a neutral ear to burdens weighing heavy on young shoulders. It is important to listen while they are young. Hopefully, as they get older, they will remember and continue to confide in us.

We cherish the moments we spend with the younger ones, but we sometimes fret because we don’t see our three older grandsons, ages 18 (twins) and 22, as often. We sometimes text them individually. Recently, we were disappointed when studies and work kept them from coming for Thanksgiving. We sent them individual cards with a Starbucks gift card, closing with the usual, “We love and pray for you every day.” Hopefully, one or the other was encouraging to them.

Chuck Norris may be able to count to infinity twice, but he cannot pour out his love on your grandchildren. Only you can do that.

Dear friends and former missionaries to Haiti, Linda and Steve, visited recently. As we chatted about our grandkids, we talked about the need to be intentional in speaking into their lives. Linda gave us a laugh when she told this family story:

During COVID lockdown, we decided to begin serving communion around our dining table following our family service and meal together. Poppy (Steve) led communion and asked questions to various grands. Our son and his wife decided their youngest, four at the time, was old enough to begin having communion with the family. This was his first communion. Everyone was respectful and attentive, even during the reading of a rather long Eucharist passage beginning, “On this special day, we wish to remember what our Lord Jesus told us to do until He returns again….” Then Poppy led us through communion. The four-year-old, not raised on juices, typically drank either milk or water. So, this was his first swallow of grape juice. As we somberly drank the juice, out of the silence we heard a bright, astonished voice, “Cheez Louise, that was good!”

What a moment to remember! May God give us as grandparents those moments to recall and cherish as we strive to leave a spiritual legacy to our children and their children and their children and their children...

About the Author: Longtime missionaries to France Jerry and Barbara Gibbs currently serve as development associates with IM, Inc., working closely with Go Global conferences. Learn more: iminc.org.