intersect, where the bible meets life

A Parent's 10 Most Important Words

Fathering a child is a simple matter of biology. Being a dad to a child is a lot more complicated. I watch young fathers at ball games shout instructions to their kids: “Keep your eye on the ball!” “Run fast!” “Swing hard!” These dads turn into surrogate coaches on Saturday, not quite convinced that Junior’s real Little League skipper can do the job as well as they can. And believe me, I understand. Been there, done that—both the coaching part and the dad part.

As I watch these bleacher field-general parents, I find myself thinking, “I hope you are as worked up about Junior learning to be an honest person as you are about his catching that fly ball. And, do you teach your little shortstop to respect his mother? While you’re taking them to extra batting practice at the indoor range, be sure to take them to church. They need to see that we dads love God and the gospel more than we love the World Series or March Madness.”

We teach our kids how to ride bicycles, play ball, drive a car, and dozens of other useful life skills. Why don’t we do a better job teaching them about God?

The “My Son” Curriculum

The curriculum is ready-made. It’s found in the first eight chapters of Proverbs. Yet, the setting is not a classroom or lecture hall, and a teacher isn’t lecturing to students or a boss training employees. Instead, a dad and mom are instructing their child. In Proverbs 1:8, note that both parents are engaged in the teaching process. Here is a united front with mother and father taking seriously their God-mandated task as wisdom instructors to their sons and daughters.

Parents and youth pastors should live in these 10 words from parents to children—the “My Son” sayings. The phrase occurs in 1:10; 2:1; 3:1; 3:21; 4:1 (plural); 4:10; 4:20; 5:1 (see also the plural in 5:7); 6:1; 6:20 (with 7:1); and the plural conclusion (“O sons”) in 8:32. These words to children (sons) offer valuable skills regarding how to live as a believer in the fear of God (Proverbs 1:7). Each of the 10 words includes both a command and the consequence it brings.

The First Word: No (1:10-33)

Command (1:10): Teach your child to say “no” to people who will take him down.
Consequence (1:16, 18-19a): These people endanger your child’s life.

It’s even tougher to help them think about the influence of their friends when they are older, so start when they are young. Encourage and commend friendships that build them.

The Second Word: Go (2:1-22)

Command (2:4, as a condition): Challenge your son to go for a life of integrity with everything he can give.
Consequence (2:5, 9, 20): He will discover that living for God is not only right, but good as well.

The young person who is really into godly living will learn how good it is to be close to God. Living for Him is not only the right thing to do, it’s the best thing.

The Third Word: Trust (3:1-12)

Command (3:5): Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Consequence (3:6, 8, 10): God will not let you down.

Our kids will still have problems; that’s not the promise, though. Instead God assures them of His presence in the midst of the trouble. That’s where faith is at its best.

The Fourth Word: Plan (3:13-25)

Command (3:21): Keep sound wisdom and discretion.
Consequence (3:22-24): You’ll enjoy real life and avoid many needless worries.

“Discretion” suggests the plans in your heart. Help your children to be resourceful, to think clearly about a wise course of action.

The Fifth Word: Hang (4:1-9)

Command (4:1): Be attentive to a father’s instruction.
Consequence (4:8, 9): You will find honor.

Pray that your boy will hang on to the godly lessons you have taught him.

The Sixth Word: Wrong (4:10-19)

Command (4:14): Do not enter the path of the wicked.
Consequence (4:19): The darkness brings them down, and they’ll take you with them.

Help your kids think critically about their lifestyle choices. There is a wrong way to live, regardless of what our culture says.

The Seventh Word: Heart (4:20-27)

Command (4:23): Above everything else, guard your heart with all your energy.
Consequence (4:23): Everything about you grows out of what’s in your heart.

Work to channel the passions of your child’s heart to embrace the passions of God’s heart.

The Eighth Word: Sex (5:1-23)

Command (5:8): Do not go near the house of the immoral person.
Consequence (5:9-14): The results of sexual sin are disastrous.

The father’s words to his son here aim to provide incentive for a faithful marriage. Dads, teach your children the biblical view of sexuality. If you don’t, the culture will teach them its view.

The Ninth Word: Money (6:1-19)

Command (6:5): Save yourself from the dangers that go with loving money.
Consequence (6:5): Money will lay a trap for you.

Loving money may get young people into credit trouble, prevent them from tithing, and keep them from following God’s direction in ministry.

The Tenth Word: Sex (Again) (6:20-25; 7:1-27)

Command (6:20): Keep your father’s commandment, and don’t forsake your mother’s teaching.
Consequence (6:22): They will lead you, watch over you, and talk with you as you encounter sexual temptation.

While Proverbs 5 offers incentive for a faithful marriage, chapters 6 and 7 caution against unfaithfulness by husband and wife. Your best option to communicate this lesson is to model faithfulness in your marriage, parents.

Take Action

You can’t make choices for your kids or force them to choose what you want, but you can give them a rudder, a guidance system to help them steer in the right direction. Be intentional! As the Lord commands in Deuteronomy 6, teach truth to them consistently—when you get up, when you walk in the way, and when you lie down. Model faithfulness for them. Make every minute of your time with your children count, because your time with them is in limited supply.

Intersect (Where the Bible Meets Life) is a regular column of ONE Magazine featuring Dr. Garnett Reid, a member of the Bible faculty at Free Will Baptist Bible College. Email Garnett greid@fwbbc.edu