October-
November 2019
New Beginnings
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The column "Leadership Whiteboard" provides a short visual leadership coaching moment. It introduces and explains a new sketch in each issue, provides leadership coaching for further development, and shares a leadership quote and recommended book.
Protect Against Cynicism
We have all heard some pastor say, “This job would be easy if not for people.” Do you hear the cynicism in that statement? Most definitions of cynicism create a cynical reaction when using big words like maladaptive behavior or contemptuously distrustful regarding another’s motives. Really?
I cynically say, “Thank you, Mr. Webster.”
More simply, cynical people find it hard to trust others and often second-guess the motives of others. Cynicism is reflected in a sneering, bitter, or sarcastic outlook when evaluating situations, people, or organizations. Cynical people can appear disinterested and often minimize another’s selfless acts.
Do we find cynicism in Scripture? Yes! In 2 Samuel 6:16, Michal despised David’s worship because of her cynicism. Based on her experience growing up in her father’s court, she expressed disdain for David’s apparent lack of dignity. Michal’s cynicism about David was suspicious and distrustful of his sincerity. It poisoned her relationship and caused her to act with paranoia. Another place the Bible teaches us about cynicism is found in the words of King Solomon. Ecclesiastes 1:8; 18 shows that greater wisdom and knowledge brings more grief and sorrow—ouch.
As pastors, you often know more than many members of your church, which may bring sorrow and grief. But a know-it-all attitude actually creates the cynicism. You have been there, done that, and people have disappointed you. When you encounter irritating people, do they cause you to be pessimistic or immediately react in negative, distrustful ways? If these descriptions resonate, you might be dealing with cynicism.
You might understand cynicism more easily through characters like Charlie Brown, Squidward, Oscar the Grouch, Haymitch Abernathy, Lieutenant Dan, Han Solo, and the batch of TV shows that defined the cynicism era such as The Office, Parks and Recreation, Seinfeld, Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, and others.
What causes cynicism? The why may result from a person’s tragic history, major disappointment or violation of trust, or going through an anxious phase. What can be done? Start by praying to begin trusting, overcoming suspicions, and diminishing your doubts about others. Like Solomon, you must admit—even though you have great knowledge—life may become meaningless unless you trust others and have greater faith in God.
You may know a lot, but no one likes a know-it-all. Force yourself to trust others, even when they disappoint you. Relationships require trust. First, deal with the hurt people have caused you, and note how you may be projecting the painful past into your present and future interactions.
About the Columnist: Ron Hunter Jr., Ph.D., is CEO of Randall House
Publications.
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