Have you ever cried out, “Where are you God?”

god is mighty

by Ronda Sturgill

"Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love

thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified" (Psalm 70:4).

The Psalms include such a wide array of human emotions. It seems that no matter what I’m feeling at the time, I can always turn to the Psalms and immediately find an intimate connection with our Creator. My favorite author of the Psalms is David. What I love most about David is that he is real before God. No pretense. No pride. He simply throws himself before God with a wide-open and tender heart.

David often starts his Psalms with cries to the Lord, pouring out his complaints. Time after time, David unashamedly questions God. “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemies triumph over me?” (Psalm 13:1,2) David is an honest man who, at the very core of his heart, trusts in God, yet there are times when David is doubtful. Is God really here for me? If He is, why is He hiding?

Have you ever felt like this? Have you ever doubted God? Have you ever cried out, “Where are you God?” I have plenty of times. Most recently, my doubts and cries revolved around an invitation I received to speak at a women’s retreat at Yokota Air Force Base in Japan. I was thrilled to receive this invitation and immediately began to pray about what God wanted me to present. God even began to orchestrate the details for two of my friends to come along with me. The three of us were crazy with excitement over this opportunity to minister together as God continued to show us His plans for the conference. There was just one caveat.

At the age of 18 I was thrown from horse, an accident that left me a paraplegic. For the past 37 years, I have used a manual wheelchair for mobility. My shoulders are all but given out from years of overuse. With one rotator cuff repair behind me, the other is torn and in need of repair.

At the time I was asked to speak at this women’s retreat, my shoulder was extremely inflamed, leaving me in constant pain. It hurt to push my wheelchair around; it hurt to transfer myself from my wheelchair to other places; it hurt to drive my van, and at times, the pain even kept me up at night. As much as I wanted to say yes to the invitation, the thoughts of traveling so far when my shoulder hurt so much was very frightening. Surgery was scheduled for a few days after the dates of the trip.

In quiet desperation, I began to cry out to God. “Would you really give me this ministry opportunity, show me what you want me to present, provide for my two friends to go and not allow me to go? Why is my shoulder hurting so much? Do you not want me to go? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” I was really confused about what to do. I did not want to say no, yet I could not imagine saying yes. The poor conference coordinator waited patiently for a definite answer. Was I coming or not?

As I agonized over the decision, I was reminded of how David ended his Psalms. Although David may have started his Psalm crying out to God in complete and utter despair, any reader quickly discovers David’s greater conviction that God is mighty and able to save him. He knew God’s hand could rescue him from any bad situation. David ended each heart-wrenching Psalm with thoughts of hope and trust in God’s unfailing love.

“But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee

more and more" (Psalm 71:14).

For the next few days, these words swirled around in my head. Following David’s example, I began to focus on God rather than my painful shoulder. The more my gaze shifted from myself to Him, the bigger He became and the smaller this issue. Just as David made the choice to put his trust and hope in God’s unfailing love, I knew I needed to make the same choice. I knew I needed to say yes to this invitation, and that is what I did. We made our plane reservations, continued to finalize plans for the retreat, and trusted God to do great things.

It seemed to happen very gradually. In fact, I hardly noticed it happening at all. But one day—about a month before we were supposed to leave for Japan—I realized my shoulder was no longer hurting. It didn’t hurt when I transferred out of my wheelchair or drove my car, and it wasn’t keeping me up at night. I had been so focused on planning that I hadn’t noticed the pain was gone. At my last doctor appointment before leaving for Japan, my doctor confirmed that, although I still have a torn rotator cuff, it would not require surgery at this time. Praise God! Praise God! He is truly mighty.

The retreat was amazing! God’s hand was felt in every detail of the conference. The ladies who attended were encouraged in the Lord and felt refreshed by His presence. We met so many wonderful, dear sisters in Christ. When I think of how close I came to declining the invitation, I shudder at the thought of missing out on all those blessings. I learned that God’s plans are always bigger than our problems. The choice is ours as to which one we will focus on.

It took me a while to figure out God does not expect us to thank Him for the troubles we face, but we can thank Him for who He is and for the fact that anything is possible with Him. We can thank Him in anticipation of His deliverance (1 Thessalonians 5:18). God is mighty! David knew this, and so can we.

About the Writer: Ronda is the wife of FWB Air Force Chaplain, Lt Col. Tim Sturgill. They have served God and country for 23 years. She is actively involved with The Protestant Women of the Chapel, the military’s version of an international women’s ministry. Ronda is a noted author and much in demand speaker. Please visit Ronda at www.rondasturgill.com.