Military Marriage

by Terry Austin, CH (COL), US Army

I remember telling my wife Mona about the Lord calling me to be a military chaplain like it was yesterday. I explained that I might have to be gone at times, maybe even deploy to war. It would be a different kind of ministry, and I wasn’t even sure what to expect. Well, 34 years later, with years of separation through three wars, numerous deployments and training exercises, and after moving ten times, she still tells me she loves me…and I think I know why.

When Mona and I exchanged vows on our wedding day, we both believed it was God’s will. It was a mutual decision based on what we believed our Heavenly Father wanted us to do. We really didn’t know what we were getting into; we just believed it was His will. We loved each other and knew He would take care of us. Our journey began by moving to Nashville, Tennessee, attending and graduating from Welch College. Three years later, with our two children, we entered the pastorate for a couple of years.

I never resisted the calling of God to be a preacher, but I have heard testimonies of men who did. I answered the call to preach when I was in the Marine Corps. For me, the call to preach meant I would be a pastor, unless, of course, God called me to be an evangelist. That’s really all I knew. I had no idea how many thousands of ways I could serve God, but I did tell a few friends and the Lord that I would never be a military chaplain. Deep down inside, I thought it would be a great ministry, just not for me.

After the first pastorate, Mona and I traveled to 12 Free Will Baptist churches seeking God’s will. Six voted for us to come join them, but we didn’t believe it was God’s will. The other six churches did not vote in our favor, but we believed it was God’s will. During this time of our lives, we struggled to understand what God wanted us to do until I looked deep inside my heart and answered the call to serve our denomination, our country, and our Lord as an Army chaplain.

Our journey toward ministry in the military began with the overwhelming support of her family and underwhelming support from others. For three years, I attended Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary during the week and came home on the weekend. The separation was especially hard with two young children, but our hearts were firmly fixed on accomplishing God’s will. Mona did her part at home with the children, and I worked hard to graduate with a Master of Divinity Degree, which would qualify me to be an Army chaplain.

We entered active duty December 1989, and I deployed to Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm within the first year. Mona took care of things at home, wrote me often, and prayed for my safe return. After seven months I returned and found a healthy, happy family and knew that our Lord had taken care of them and everything was fine. It was a simple but clear confirmation that my family, especially Mona, was as committed to military ministry as I was.

I attribute our successful military marriage to three things we have practiced through the years:

• First, be committed to doing God’s will. For 34 years Mona and I have been committed to doing His will; everything else is subordinate to that, including our own plans. The opinion of others does not matter, only God. So, do as Jesus did in Luke 2:49: be about your Father’s business.
  

• Second, never put your family through great difficulty unless it is a mutual decision. I have never volunteered for an overseas or difficult assignment unless I included Mona in the decision. Our families sacrifice enough, and I did not want to be away longer than necessary. I have seen great Americans with a chest full of ribbons and awards retire from the military without their family standing by to see them. Ribbons and accomplishments mean very little without your family.
  

• Third, always remind each other nothing is more important than your relationship. Take time, regardless of where you are, to let your spouse know you love him or her. In today’s technological world, take advantage of smart phones, email, Facebook, Facetime, Skype, and ooVoo just to say, “I love you.”
  

I have taken two vows in my life. The first I took as a teenager when I swore to support and defend the United States of America as I entered the Marine Corps. The second came when I stood before God and vowed to love Mona Jean “until death do us part.” Those two vows have complimented each other for a long time, and I do not see an end in sight for either one. Because of my commitment to Christ, I am able to love my country and my wife. Our military marriage continues to win the daily battles and wage war against the things that try to separate us.

About the Writer: Terry W. Austin CH (COL) US Army is assuming a new post at Fort Campbell in Clarksville, Tennessee. Learn more about the work of Free Will Baptist chaplains at www.HomeMissions.net.