Myth Busting: Why Young People Are Leaving the Church

By Chris Talbot

We find ourselves in panic mode. A quick search online, a cursory look at top new books regarding church growth, or a lingering glance over empty pews in our church cause our hearts to be heavy about the emerging generation. We have a deep desire to keep these young people in our churches, and we frantically look for how to keep them from leaving the church.

Add to this what many sociologists are calling the rise of the “nones.” That is, the increasing population of those who consider themselves non-religious. As Pew Research notes, “A shorthand we use to refer to people who…say their religion is ‘nothing in particular’—now make up roughly 23% of the U.S. adult population.” [1] This group is significantly higher among emerging generations, making up nearly two-thirds of millennials in the United States.

The problem isn’t a lack of information. The problem is we’ve been misinformed. Somewhere along the way, we’ve caught wind of trouble. In doing so, we’ve been told we need to change everything to keep our youth from changing. It seems many leaders and laymen have bought into myths that simply aren’t true. Simply looking at the facts may “bust” a few of these myths. The following five myths simply are not true.

Myth #1: Young People Don’t Want to Be Around Adults

You may have heard it said that young people who attend church don’t want to be around those older than them. You may have read or listened to someone who declared youth only want to be around people their own age. This simply isn’t true. More than ever before, young people are not only longing for intergenerational relationships, they are requesting them.

An article from the Fuller Youth Institute recently noted, intergenerational relationships “meet kids’ needs for belonging and attachment.” [2] And while “intergenerational ministry” is a favored buzzword today, the practice has ancient roots. Each new generation consistently looks for older believers to admonish, challenge, and encourage them in their faith formation.

Myth #2: Young People Can’t Handle Theology

Much of the literature regarding youth leaving the church revolves around two areas: 1) lack of parental involvement and 2) lack of an articulate faith. Certainly these two areas are deeply interconnected. Nevertheless, pastors across the board can help their students give words to their beliefs by teaching them historic doctrines of the faith. This doesn’t require a dull, monotone delivery. Instead, it should be compelling and life giving. After all, we’re sharing scriptural truth that has had ability to “turn the world upside down” (Acts 17:6).

In her fascinating book Almost Christian, Kenda Creasy Dean notes, “If teenagers lack an articulate faith, maybe it is because the faith we show them is too spineless to merit much in the way of conversation.” [3] Students don’t want to learn dry, non-relevant truths. But that is not what theology is. Every day, students learn chemistry, algebra, and foreign languages. As Christian teachers, we should share with our young people the truths of the Bible in in a way that shows their importance and power. Young people want theology, but they want a theology for all of life.

Myth #3: Young People Just Want to Have Fun

In many ways, myth three is simply a misnomer. Youth generally do want to have fun, but this isn’t their ultimate desire. To think a student’s greatest want or desire is simply entertainment is myopic. After spending any amount of time with a young person, you’ll realize they express many deeper needs. They wish to be affirmed, loved, and cared for. They want to sense hope, joy, and happiness.

So, yes, young people want to have fun. But they want more than just fun. And the wonderful truth is Christians have something much better than “just fun.” We have a message that offers satisfaction for our deepest longings. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” [4] Fun alone doesn’t satisfy our students. But we can point our young people to a message and a God who does. Have fun with your students, but realize they have deeper longings and questions we can answer.

Myth #4: Young People Don’t Care About Deep Questions

Certainly, we find a corollary between this myth and myth two. What seems to be consistent across all studies and surveys concerning the “failure to launch” is lack of engagement with deep questions by those in the church. It isn’t that youth don’t care about deep questions; it is that they haven’t received answers to their deep questions. Or those questions were never addressed.

Whether Larry Taunton’s study with Fixed Point Foundation, David Kinnaman at the Barna Group, or Christian Smith with the National Study of Youth and Religion—all agree students have bemoaned the church’s lack of engagement with the deep things of God. If you want to keep young people in church, begin facing difficult questions head-on.

This means dealing with struggles and inquiries about science, sexuality, doctrine, and more. More than ever, young people need a holistic Christian worldview that speaks to every area of life and culture. The days of pithy one-liners are behind us. Young people with deep questions need deep answers.

Myth #5: Young People Want Church to Be “Relevant”

Myth five may be the biggest myth on this list. In trying to keep young people in the church, we’ve tried to accommodate our practices to their culture. In an effort to reach this generation, we’ve sought to change our practices to become more “relevant.” The problem? Young people don’t actually want the church to be “relevant.” At least not in the way we’ve conceptualized. Instead, they want to the church to be the church.

In a fascinating study by George Barna about designing worship spaces with millennials in mind, participants were asked to select words that described their ideal church. Of these, 78% chose “community” over “privacy;” 77% chose “sanctuary” over “auditorium;” 67% chose “classic” over “trendy.” Another 67% chose “quiet” over “loud.” What is more, when shown pictures of sanctuary images, millennials chose classical and traditional spaces over progressive and trendy auditoriums. [5]

What this study finds, and what we may have known already, is young people don’t want the church to become something it is not. Instead, they want—even need—the church to be what is has been from the beginning: a counter-cultural community that proclaims a life-changing message.

One of the most important statistics in this discussion has been discussed by a wide group of researchers. Focus on the Family, in their study on Millennial Faith Participation and Retention noted that only 11% of adults who left the faith said they had a strong faith as a child. [6] This is significant. Those who are leaving the church weren’t really part of the church to begin with—they hadn’t actually embraced the faith they claimed. Instead, the church is losing those who haven’t resolved their doubts and who were unable to articulate what they believe.

These realities should call us to think deeply and biblically about how we’re ministering to the next generation. With all the various “solutions” out there, what should one do? I think David Kinnaman articulates it well: “After countless interviews and conversations, I am convinced that historic and traditional practices, and orthodox and wisdom-laden ways of believing, are what the next generation really needs.” [7]

In the midst of panic, we should return to the tried and true ways of God’s wisdom. Let us return to God’s means of grace, and the deep teaching and preaching of His Word to call young people to a compelling Christian faith.

About the Writer: Christopher Talbot is author of RE/Modeling Youth Ministry. Chris teaches youth and family ministry and serves as campus pastor at Welch College. He is pastor of Youth and Family ministry at Sylvan Park FWB Church in Nashville, Tennessee. Chris is a regular contributor to Helwys Society Forum. He and his wife Rebekah live with their two sons in Gallatin, Tennessee.

1 Michael Lipka, “A closer look at America’s rapidly growing religious ‘nones,’” Pew Research Center, May 13, 2015. Accessed February 17th, 2019. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/05/13/a-closer-look-at-americas-rapidly-growing-religious-nones/

2 Kara Powell, “Moving Away from the Kid Table: A Bigger Vision of Church” Fuller Youth Institute, August 2, 2010. Accessed February 2, 2019. https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/articles/moving-away-from-the-kid-table

3 Kenda Creasy Dean, Almost Christian: What the Faith of Our Teenagers is Telling the American Church (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2010), 36.

4 C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: HarperCollins, 1980), 136-137.

5 “Designing Worship Spaces With Millennials in Mind,” Barna.
November 5, 2014. Accessed February 10, 2019. https://www.barna.com/research/designing-worship-spaces-with-millennials-in-mind/

6 Glenn Stanton, “Are Young People Leaving the Church in Droves?” Focus on the Family, accessed February 5th, 2019, https://www.focusonthefamily.com/about/focus-findings/religion-and-culture/are-young-people-leaving-the-church-in-droves

7 David Kinnaman, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving the Church and Rethinking the Faith (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2011), 202.