one to one: Lessons about life, ministry, and grandkids

by Keith Burden, Executive Secretary, National Association of Free Will Baptists

A Marked Man

My wife and I had been married only two years. I was serving in my first full-time ministry position as a minister of youth and music. In a short period of time, we began building close relationships with members of the youth group. One way we did this was through outside activities with the students.

One particular activity sticks in my mind to this day. With the assistance of a gentleman in our church, I arranged for a wiener roast and hayride for the teens. It was late fall, and the night air was cool and crisp, making the bonfire especially warm and inviting.

I was young and inexperienced. Thinking bigger was better, I proceeded to throw more logs on the already blazing inferno.

I vividly remember what occurred next, almost as though it happened in slow motion. As I hurled a piece of wood onto the bonfire, I saw something glimmer in the light. My heart sank. My gold wedding band had slipped off my finger and tumbled into the fire. Obviously, it was impossible to retrieve it from the red-hot coals.

A few days later, I returned to the scene of our activity. With the assistance of a friend and a metal detector, we sifted through the ashes, hoping to find something resembling the remains of my wedding band. We were unsuccessful.

Fast-forward 20 years. I was the senior pastor of a church. One day, a member of my congregation asked, “Pastor, I’ve noticed you aren’t wearing a wedding band. Is there a reason why?” I proceeded to explain the bonfire incident years earlier. After patiently listening to my explanation that sweet lady said, “I think my pastor needs to be a ‘marked’ man. My husband and I would like to buy you a ring to replace the one you lost. I want other women to know you’re taken.”

I accepted their generous offer, and a few days later went to a local jeweler and picked out a new wedding band. It was almost identical to the one I lost. Since that day, I’ve been a “marked” man. That ring is a symbol of the shared love and wholehearted commitment my wife and I gave to one another more than 45 years ago. It speaks volumes without a single word.

And, so it should be with our relationship to Christ. The way we live our lives should send a clear, unmistakable message to others that we are “marked” men and women. May we say with the Apostle Paul, “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus” (Galatians 6:17).

About the columnist. One to One is a regular feature of ONE Magazine. Written by Keith Burden, executive secretary of the National Association of Free Will Baptists, the column explores life, ministry...and the joys of grandchildren.