We hope the following articles, written by real-world Free Will Baptist parents from around the globe, will help you grow as parents and as disciples of Jesus Christ.
Handling Difficult Topics With Your Teen
By Ashley Ketteman
“My friend texted me yesterday and told me she ‘came out.’” My teen daughter Jane and I were on a morning walk, and I was surprised to learn that about one of her friends in Japan. I felt I suddenly had been shoved into a new level of parenting. To my greater surprise, I learned Jane had already sent a reply—a reply full of love but also truth.
I imagine you’ve had similar conversations with your own teen. I often feel out of my depth because I cannot draw upon a situation like this from my own teenage experience. How do we as Jesus-loving parents navigate these cultural challenges our teens encounter day after day?
Disclaimer: I am not an expert on anything in life, but as I recall that conversation, I am thankful for many things. First, I am thankful Jane responded in love. She reaffirmed their friendship but also told her friend she didn’t support her choice because it is the opposite of God’s way, and His way is best for us. This led to a great gospel follow-up conversation. Finally, I am thankful Jane told me about her conversation.
One of the best ways we can help our children navigate difficult cultural issues biblically is simply to know what they face. We must keep open lines of communication with our kids, and that begins with relationship. We must spend time with our teens and truly listen to them. Most teenagers long to be seen and heard.
Let’s carve out time to listen to whatever they want to talk about. And remember these important guidelines through the conversation:
Guard against being visibly shocked by the issues they face and listen calmly.
Avoid “lecture mode” but take your child to Scripture. Knowing God’s Word and valuing it as absolute truth should be a primary goal as parents!
Keep love at the forefront of every response.
Remember we all — no matter our age — struggle with sin; some sin is just more public than others. Hang in there, fellow parents in the trenches! I’m praying for you.
About the Writer: Ashley is wife to Jack and mom to Jane, Callie, and Carter. She lives
and serves Jesus in Tokyo, Japan. She enjoys coffee and shopping in second-hand stores.
Equipping the Next Generation
By Casey Pontius
We teach them to use utensils, cushion their falls, develop social skills, practice driving, and prepare for adulthood. These are only a few things we parents do for our kids. Sometimes, the list seems endless. Obviously, we would never give them a jawbreaker for their first bite or allow them behind the wheel of a car without making sure they know which pedal is the gas and which is the brake. Every milestone moment for our children is surrounded by our instruction and influence.
Why is it, then, that studying Scripture is sometimes forgotten? Not every parent overlooks this important area of instruction. However, many church-going, faithful Christian parents would admit they do an inadequate job of discipling their children by not showing them how to study the Word of God. The result of failing to equip our children is clearly evidenced by throngs of students who walk away from their faith after high school. Sadly, today we have a generation of biblically illiterate young adults who are still infants in their faith. I would argue most Christian parents would never want this to be true of their children.
If you are a student of the Word, wonderful! Pass that gift to your children. Teach them to go beyond just reading the Bible—to dig in, study it, and apply it to their lives. Start small, one verse or passage at a time. Walk through that passage with them. It will be a sweet time together.
I truly believe parents fail to disciple their kids because parents themselves were never discipled. They were never taught how to study the Word of God. How could they possibly teach their children what they do not know themselves? We do not want to send our children into this world and society without equipping them for the spiritual battles they will face (and already face). It is imperative we teach our children how to study
and apply God’s Word.
When our kids learn to ride a bike, we walk them through simple steps: training wheels, pedaling, pushing them along to help them balance. Then, we let go and watch them put what they have learned into practice as they pedal away. Learning to study God’s Word is much the same. Take a moment to read Deuteronomy 6:1-2, 6-9 to see how we, as parents, are to guide and instruct our children.
These verses teach us we must embrace the purpose of the Word, the practice of the Word, and the power of the Word. The purpose is so you and the generations who follow you will know and fear the Lord. The practice is every moment throughout your day. What are you doing right now?
Turn it into a discipleship moment. You are “holding the bike” as they learn to “balance and pedal.” Make reading Scripture what you do first when you wake up and what you do last before you lay down at night. How about all the moments between? Discipleship moment after discipleship moment. The power of the Word? Eternal impact for generations. Who doesn’t want that? We “let go of the bike” and cheer our children on as they make their faith their own. What a beautiful gift to give our children!
One last thing: if you’ve never been discipled, don’t fret. It’s never too late to grow in your walk with Christ. Don’t let pride or embarrassment (even if you are a church leader) stand between you and a close relationship with God that will help you disciple generations to come. It’s never too late.
About the Writer: Casey Pontious is married to her pastor-husband Aaron and a momma to four boys. Casey loves playing games and sports and also loves crafts and gardening.
Six Steps to Triumph Over Stress
By Elizabeth Hodges
Stress is common to all of us. We may express stress in different ways, but we all know the familiar tense reaction to difficult days and weeks. When you feel stress pressing in on you, do you deal with the root cause of your stress or just treat the symptoms? How can we overcome this stress that Satan uses to keep us defeated? As believers, we are meant to depend on God, His Word, and His strength. We must admit we are weak, vulnerable, and not self-sufficient to accept God’s help with our stress.
1. Study the Word. One day, pastor and best-selling author Chuck Swindoll went to visit his friend Bob at Bob’s office. As Chuck approached the office, he heard the melody, “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” And when Chuck looked through the office window, what he saw made an indelible impression on him. Bob was kneeling in his office before his open Bible. Chuck felt he was standing on holy ground. Bob never knew he was being observed, but his actions had a profound impact on the young Chuck Swindoll, who in turn has impacted the greater Christian community.
Susanna Wesley, mother of 17, would throw her apron over her head when she needed time with her Lord. I’m sure we have all experienced moments like that! Her children knew not to disturb her during her time spent with God. If you wonder what impact her example made on her children, just read the lyrics of the many hymns penned by her sons John and Charles Wesley.
In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus contrasted the choices of Mary and Martha. Do you ever find yourself “cumbered about,” that is, juggling way too many balls at one time? A friend once shared with me, “If I must be a Martha, please give me a Mary heart.” Being busy seems to be my lot in life, like Martha. But I want to know when to be quiet. To kneel in solitude. To “throw an apron over my head,” or to simply sit, like Mary, at the Savior’s feet.
2. Trust the Lord. I’m sure you have seen the saying, “Sometimes the Lord calms the storm; sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.” We have stress in our lives because we live on this sin-cursed earth. There’s no way around it. The good news is, we also know the One who is in control (John 16:33). How often do we come boldly to the throne of God with our problems and petitions, only to take them with us when we walk away? We know God clothes the lilies of the field, feeds the birds, and has our hairs numbered. Why do we struggle to accept that He is also concerned about the things that trouble us? Are we not more valuable than the flowers or birds (Matthew 6:25-34)?
Paul challenged us in Philippians 4:8 to think about things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. How much of our “thinking time” is invested in these categories, and how much is devoted to worry?
3. Rest. Sleep is a gift from God. How often do we thank Him for this priceless gift? Sleep does for our bodies what nothing else can do. When we are sick or have surgery, we sleep to heal. But when troubled and stressed, do you find yourself spending more hours fretting than sleeping? Does worry keep you awake at night? Tossing and tumbling with your mind racing with the what ifs? Amy Carmichael once said, “In acceptance lieth peace.” This may be easy
to say, but it is hard to practice in daily life! Jesus spent time in solitude with His Father during His earthly ministry.
If He, being God, needed to be refreshed, how much more do we need rest and refreshment? We must rest knowing God is in control and does all things well.
4. Encourage others. Philemon 7 tells us Philemon ministered to Paul, and Paul in turn ministered to us through his pen. Who have you refreshed? Share what God is teaching you. They may desperately need what you have learned or are learning. Do you have an accountability partner who will love you regardless of anything you discuss? We all need a close friend who can see more clearly than you when you are surrounded by trouble, a friend who will guard your confidences. Thank God for such a friend and ask God to make you such a friend to others. Romans 16:1-2 briefly describes Phoebe as a sister, a servant, and a succorer (a great help). Let’s follow her example.
5. Strengthen the inner person.
Refocus: Step back from routine and refocus your priorities. Are you spending time and effort on things that ultimately do not matter? Or are you spending time on things that will strengthen you, build up your family, and encourage others?
Recreate: What brings you relief, enjoyment, and pleasure? Make some of these relaxing activities a priority.
Balance is key. Work hard when it is time to work and then enjoy relaxation and recreation. It’s easy to feel guilty when more always waits to be done. But we will never get everything done. We must do our best and trust God with the rest.
6. Serve others. When you serve others, you cannot be self-centered. Selfishness and service do not occupy the same “heart space.” If we model Jesus’ servant heart, we will develop a sensitive spirit. We will listen and not always talk. We will be available when needed. When we become “others-focused,” our own problems do not seem so overwhelming.
Triumph over stress in this fast-paced world is found in a quiet heart. We must pursue and develop a heart focused on God in a vessel (life) fit for the Master’s use. May God help each of us as we develop such a heart.
About the Writer: After serving as an educator and administrator for 29 years, Elizabeth Hodges served as the sixth executive director of WNAC, the Free Will Baptist women’s ministry department, from 2010-2021.
