Just Say No

by Amanda Kilgore

Just say no. Easier said than done, right? Why is it the same group of people seems to end up doing all the jobs in a church? Is it because we really want to stay that busy? Are we afraid if we don’t, no one else will? Or maybe we feel guilty (false guilt, by the way) if we don’t do everything someone expects of us. We feel obligated, thinking, “God surely must want us to do this particular job; why else would church leadership have asked us?”

Stop! These lines of thinking are not necessarily true or even biblical. Yes, God commands us to work in the Kingdom. He has equipped each of us with special talents and abilities for the benefit of the Body of Christ. Ephesians 6:7 tells us, “With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men” (emphasis mine). In The Message, Eugene Peterson states it this way: “And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God.” This is our guide to Kingdom work in a nutshell. Let’s break it down, ask some probing questions, and respond with honest answers.

Good Will

“With good will doing service” means serving with joy and contentment. It implies serving with a willing heart and smiling face. How willingly do we approach our positions of service in the church? Do we look forward to Sunday in the nursery or dread the thought of having to change a dirty diaper? Do we prepare children’s church lessons with enthusiasm, looking for creative ways to share the gospel with children, or do we just try to think of ways to keep kids occupied and under control? And what about those teenagers? Are we excited about influencing them to make a difference in the world for Christ; or does their choice of music, enthusiasm about sports, and expressions of adolescent angst turn us off?

Maybe it isn’t wrong to dread changing diapers, corralling young children, or disagreeing with a teenager’s favorite things. But those feelings are indicators we are not serving with good will.

As to the Lord

Everything we do should follow the example of Jesus. We strive to serve others as He would. In addition, we serve Christ in our work. Whether evangelizing the lost or edifying the body of believers, the sole reason for our labors should hinge on pleasing Him.

Yes, that dirty diaper change can be done with the mind of Christ. We serve others in imitation of His love and care for us. If we work for any other reason—to make a name for ourselves, to prove ourselves indispensable to our church, to fulfill a duty or obligation, or a host of other things—we will accomplish nothing worthwhile or lasting.

Not to men

God gives each of us a place of service; He equips us with the necessary abilities to do the job He desires. Unfortunately, we sometimes lose track of where or how we fit within the Body of Christ. Sometimes we feel pressured into a particular position—especially in smaller churches where fewer workers equals multiple responsibilities. Sometimes our egos take over, and we want to do something that puts us in the limelight. Other times, we may want to try something different or move out of our comfort zone.

Whatever we do, several basic principles should guide our service. We serve because God has called us. We do not go in our own wisdom but by His direction. We do not serve God to please men. We do not fill a capacity just because some person tells us we should. We work at God’s command.

Saying No

So how can we find our place in His Kingdom? Complete a spiritual gifts survey. Ask others to identify talents and abilities. Above all, pray and seek God’s direction before making decisions. Teaching a children’s Sunday School class may seem easy enough, but students deserve our very best. If we lack devotion, they will soon tune us out, and a great opportunity to share Christ may be lost. We should not serve because someone asks us, but because we sense a calling.

Saying no to a ministry or church position is hard. We may feel guilty or fear that others will think less of us. But remember, we work for God, not men. He wants to give us wonderful opportunities to grow and bless others, but we must be available. If all our time is taken up by a dozen different things in the church—none for which we’ve been called or equipped—we may miss those God-opportunities. Don’t be afraid to pick and choose with God’s direction.

When my husband underwent four surgeries, 12 rounds of chemo, and two hearts stents in less than two years, my life came to a standstill for a season. I quit all my positions in the church to care for him. As he recovered, and we have returned to involvement in ministry, I’ve realized I don’t have to do everything. During my time away, the church functioned perfectly well, and they didn’t miss a beat. Who would have believed?

Now, I am feeling my way back into service and truly seeking God’s will in determining commitments. It’s a great feeling. I am finding my walk with Christ much more enjoyable.

I hope your “aha” moment is not as dramatic as mine, but if you find yourself too busy, stop and prioritize. Think about what brings you joy. Consider your God-given talents and abilities. Discover your passions. Match those things with positions in the church. Then, be ready for what God may do as you wholeheartedly serve within the Body of Christ.

About the Writer: Amanda Kilgore is president of Tennessee Women Active for Christ. She also works as program and development director of the Hope Center, part of Free Will Baptist Family Ministries, where her husband James serves as president and CEO.