"Shush! The Adults Are Talking" and Other Really Dumb Stuff Adults Say

By Jon D. Forrest

Have you ever been in a situation like the one in the title? You’re in a vital conversation with friends. You know, something super important like the Tennessee Titans’ chances in the NFL
playoffs. And a kid has the audacity to come say your name just as you get to your soliloquy about Derrick Henry’s stiff-arm, which causes you to stiff-arm the kid with a “shush finger” to the mouth, followed by a quick, “Don’t interrupt.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. Kids should learn to be respectful. Interrupting is wrong for anyone, but you can’t teach respect by being disrespectful.

Somewhere along the line, we misinterpreted Ephesians 6:1. The simple commands the Holy Spirit gives us through Paul at the end of Ephesians are absolutely beautiful if you look at them the right way: Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives. Children, obey your parents. Parents, do not provoke your children to wrath.

Each command is given with the weakness of the second party in mind. Husbands have issues with leadership, so wives take note of that and be submissive. Wives generally want to feel loved, so husbands, love them. Parents gauge their success on the obedience of their children, so kids, obey. And kids can misinterpret discipline and become angry and resentful, so, parents, be careful.

I confess: Rob Morgan explains this much better than I just did.

My point is somewhere along the way, we started to think “Children obey your parents” meant for kids to turn off their thinkers and their talkers and mechanically follow orders. Have you ever encountered a kid raised this way? As soon as he reaches the age of independence, many times he “lets loose!”

In contrast, children whose thoughts are valued immediately gain respect and affinity for you as a parent and other authority figures.

Don’t take my word for this. In Mark 10, people brought children to Jesus, and the disciples tried to turn them away. Jesus became indignant (Mark 10:14) when the disciples told these kids, “Scram, the adults are talking.”

Try this sometime. When a child approaches you, stop what you are doing, bend down or get on a knee so he has your full attention, and respond appropriately with a smile. You will have a friend for life. I remember adults who made me feel like I mattered 40 years ago. These moments mold kids.

God never says for us to turn our kids into little cyborgs whose only function is to parrot back the words we download into them. Teaching our kids rules and statutes is only half of child rearing. Look at Deuteronomy 6:20-21.

When your son asks you in time to come, “What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?” then you shall say to your son, “We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.”

We teach them, and we talk to them. I’m 47, and my dad is 74, but to this day when he talks about the way the Lord has been faithful to walk with us and sustain us, it bolsters my faith like nothing else in the world.

Teach your kids intentionally. Discipline them firmly. And just as importantly, talk to them respectfully. You (and they) will be glad you did.

About the Writer: Jon D. Forrest has been working with students at Bethel FWB Church near Ashland City, Tennessee, for 25-plus years. He is the author of Fight! Like Your Life Depends on It and Help! My Games Stink. He spent six years earning a four-year degree from Welch College. His passions include collecting Nerf guns (over 400 in his collection) and lobbying for Chick-fil-A™ to get Honey Roasted BBQ Sauce out of packets and into gallon containers where it belongs. Because he is crazy about students, he loves encouraging fellow youth workers. His wife Carrie and daughter Ellie lovingly put up with him.