Solving the Puzzle of Discipleship

By Ruth McDonald

She sometimes wants to say no, but the Lord keeps saying yes. She is an introvert, but the Spirit continually leads her into new and uncomfortable relationships. She thinks she’s too old, but God obviously still has work for her to do. So, she continues to listen to His voice and follow His leading just as she’s always done.

Lorene Miley recently celebrated her 95th birthday by telling her family that “people this old should not still be here on earth.” When listening to one Christian speaker recently, she reportedly remarked, “He really should retire from public ministry because his voice is not pleasant to listen to anymore.” She declines invitations to speak for this same reason.

When asked to speak at the Welch College Missions Conference recently, she answered with a firm “no.” She cited her age, quavering voice, and declining eyesight. Two days later, she called back and accepted, stating that God had told her to do so. The resulting panel with missionary women of all ages was a blessing to all who heard it. She admits that, apparently, God still had some things He wanted her to say. As long as He wills, she is willing.

Perhaps best known for her decades as a pioneer missionary in Ivory Coast, West Africa, with her doctor husband, Laverne, Lorene has never stopped obeying Christ’s command to make disciples. She is a skilled teacher, public speaker, Bible scholar, counselor, and mentor to women representing many generations. More than anything else, she is a disciple of Christ herself. When the subject of intergenerational discipleship arises, she is the first example who comes to my mind.

Yet, Mrs. Miley doesn’t see herself that way. “I never thought of myself as a mentor. I only formally mentored one person, and I still pray for her. Neither do I feel I have the spiritual gift of mentoring. Perhaps God just surprised me with His blessing from time to time.”

Those who know her best emphasize she is a natural introvert who seldom initiates relationships. Even though she has not intentionally made it her goal to mentor or disciple across generations, scores of women look to her as a life-changing presence. As Mrs. Miley continues her “long obedience in the same direction,” God sends people to her.

Tina Tolbert (age 63) is a long-time follower of Christ and a professor at Welch College. Like most Free Will Baptists, she had heard of the Mileys her whole life. During her college days, she began attending Cofer’s Chapel with the Mileys and occasionally ate lunch at their home. “This is when I began to know her on a more personal level,” Tina recalls. “I clearly remember noticing her as a great person and a beautiful, godly example of striving to live in full pursuit of God’s direction in life.”

Hollie Hubbard Casper (age 40) ministers alongside her husband Jason to international students in New York City. Like Tina, she attended church with Mrs. Miley as a Bible college student and often visited her home for meals. She later worked and ministered with Mrs. Miley at the Hephzibah House, a Christian guest house across from NYC’s Central Park.

Hollie treasures “the memories of visiting her room, hearing another story from her life experience, asking for her advice and gleaning from her wisdom. Usually, before I left, she would pray for me and whatever I needed in that moment. Even now, I am challenged by her example of a heart hungry for God and her desire to keep studying His Word and learning more.”

Elizabeth Snow (age 30) is a follower of Christ and a physical therapist living in East Tennessee. She was invited to the home of Clint and Lynette Morgan (Mrs. Miley’s daughter and son-in-law) after she participated in a short-term mission trip to Africa. As they talked, they discovered a shared love for jigsaw puzzles. The simple hobby became their connecting point. They would spread out a puzzle on Mrs. Miley’s kitchen table and work on it until it was done, a feat that usually required multiple visits.

“I think I was the one who pursued her,” Elizabeth recalls. “But, because of who she is, she just drew me in, and in turn, I think she pursued me, too. She definitely invested in me while I was there, making the most of every visit. She always took the time to be intentional with our time together. We had many conversations that included analogies about how our lives compare to puzzles: how the pieces don’t seem to fit like we thought they would; how we need a biblical foundation (the border); and how you can never force a piece to work where it is not meant to be.”

Lynette Miley Morgan notes young women gravitate toward her mother. Her mom is not usually the instigator of these mentoring relationships, although there are exceptions to this pattern. When Mrs. Miley senses someone around her needs to hear truth, she is bold and assertive in pursuing them. Her intimate, daily walk with the Lord allows her to hear the direction of the Holy Spirit clearly as He directs her to those with spiritual needs. This lifelong commitment to obeying His call has led to some of her more unlikely relationships.

Among those she currently disciples are a Catholic walking partner, a pen pal in a women’s prison, an office worker struggling through difficulties, and several others with whom she does weekly Bible studies. She prays daily for God to take her home to Heaven, but she will not quit serving Him until He does.

Mrs. Miley recently told me, “My dad lived with us the last years of his life. I remember him often saying, ‘Everyone I know is already in heaven.’ How sad. Perhaps I was subconsciously drawn to younger women because, when I got old, my younger friends would still be around. Today, I am blessed beyond measure. I have lots of friends, many younger spiritual ones, and a host of others just waiting to rekindle that dear relationship in Heaven. Even so, come Lord Jesus.”

Women mentoring women has become a hot topic over the past few years. Much of the information available on the topic relates to career women seeking mentors in the workplace. Young women in Generation Z are eager to learn from their older bosses and coworkers as they enter their careers. Unfortunately, many of the voices they hear are not founded in the biblical principles of godly womanhood. As Christian women, we are commissioned to mentor across generations in the Body of Christ.

Dr. Sarah Bracey, a Christian and a counselor of college-aged girls at Welch College, recently shared that young women desire to be mentored by older ones. Although they can easily find a video online about how to make an apple pie, they overwhelmingly say they would choose to spend an afternoon actually making an apple pie with an older woman.

I asked Mrs. Miley for advice regarding mentoring and discipling across generations. She replied, “I wouldn’t have any advice to give; that’s what experts do, and I don’t qualify there. However, for any task God calls you to, four attributes are necessary: intimacy with Jesus, a clean moral life, love for people, and being available.”

Through 95 years of life (and counting) Mrs. Miley has done those things well. She invites younger women into her daily life, following the example of Jesus, who became flesh so humanity could see, hear, and touch God.

In Africa, she taught women to sew. In New York City, Arizona, and Nashville, she invited them (and continues to invite them) into her home. She joins them on daily walks, does jigsaw puzzles with them, and plays board games. She goes beyond speaking truth from a podium. She eats, laughs, and fellowships with them as well.

“The life she lives is an authentic, genuine portrait of application of Truth,” says Tina. “Of all the examples of living she has provided me, of all the ways she has impacted my life, this is the most significant.…I have seen her offer her kind spirit, kind words, and friendship to people from college to far, far beyond. One college girl would say Mrs. Miley’s friendship and guidance changed the course of her life. A senior citizen named Mrs. Miley as her biggest Thanksgiving blessing after relocating to a new place. I am somewhere between those two age groups, and she has had a tremendous impact on my own life as well.”

Each lady I interviewed emphatically shared how Mrs. Miley had blessed them. Each treasures memories of their times together that will last a lifetime.

Hollie writes, “Mrs. Miley is one of the most fun-loving, fearless women I’ve ever met. She often set out early in the morning to explore a new corner of New York City, often riding the train to the end of its line, getting out to explore the neighborhood where it stopped, grabbing a bite to eat, and then returning home to report what she had found. On one of my first days in the city, she took me to ride the ferry so I could see the Statue of Liberty. After we boarded the train, she realized we were in the back of the train and needed to be in the front because the train would split at a certain point. She told me, ‘When the train stops, we need to jump out and run!’ That’s exactly what we did. We made up a few cars at each stop, jumping back on the train before the doors closed. Finally, she was satisfied we were close enough to the front to make our stop. She is always up for an adventure and made my first year in NYC so much fun!”

This story is made even more amazing when you consider that Mrs. Miley was well into her 70s at the time. The Hephzibah House, where she was working at the time, is a five-story brownstone built in the 1800s, and without an elevator, but she energetically and routinely climbed the winding staircase as part of her duties.

Tina Tolbert offers a parting thought: “By the way, if ever she invites you to take a walk with her, give it considerable thought. She means business! She takes her walking seriously, and she is not easy to keep up with. Even in walking, she has taught me a thing or two.”

“She always beats me in SkipBo,” says Elizabeth Snow. “Every single time!”

About the Author: After serving as a missionary in Japan for almost four decades, Ruth McDonald became the director of WNAC in late 2022. Learn more: wnac.org.