Staying in Love

by Sarah Fletcher

Want to improve your marriage? Retreat!

According to the Urban Institute, couples who attend or engage in a marriage retreat or other type of marriage enrichment program (whether faith-based or not), reap benefits for up to five years.

For the 40 couples who attended the recent Master’s Men/WNAC Marriage Enrichment Conferences in Chattanooga and Branson, those benefits included not only marriage helps, but also scriptural foundations, worship, and time alone as a couple.

Some couples specifically came to improve their marriages or learn ways to stay in love. Others simply wanted to get away. A few registered at the suggestion of church leadership. For Arkansas Pastor Kenny Fant and his wife Brenda, the conference came as a gift from their congregation. Attendees of these Friday evening through Sunday morning events represented a wide age span with marriages ranging from 3-43 years. Over half indicated this was their first marriage retreat experience.

Joe Grizzle, Oklahoma minister and founder of C3 Ministries, met a responsive audience, eager to interact and absorb his teachings. He urged couples to change—to target one thing or one area of marriage that needed improvement. Much of the conference focused on understanding differences between men and women.

Comparing a woman’s needs to a fishing experience, Brother Joe reeled in listeners with personal stories, practical knowledge, and plain speaking. “Be a friend,” he admonished husbands as he detailed a wife’s need for love and relationship. “Be a cheerleader,” he encouraged wives, emphasizing the importance and value men place on respect. He challenged both husbands and wives to better communication and greater commitment.

Saturday night’s session included a time for personal sharing (original poems by husbands and love letters written by wives) and restating marriage vows. For Criss and Jennifer Sweazy, “the saying of our wedding vows,” proved memorable, “…this time with deeper understanding and a commitment of eternal love.” “It took our breath away to do that again,” added Andrew and Rylee Whitsett.

Were the sessions helpful? Overwhelmingly, couples said yes. Brother Grizzle’s teachings topped the list as participant’s “favorite part of the retreat.”

Attendees found couple time equally beneficial. Chattanooga attendees Ryan and Ashlee Lewis enjoyed “the laid-back structure and open schedule.” Another couple described the weekend as “the right balance of leisure time/ teaching sessions.”

What if you didn’t make it to Chattanooga or Branson?

Find and attend a Christian marriage conference or retreat in your area. Several Free Will Baptist state and/or local associations regularly offer these events. In the meantime, focus on six strong family-building principles Joe Grizzle calls “Going for the Gold” (1 Corinthians
3:10-14).

• Eat family meals together, at least five per week.
  

• Schedule a weekly family night. (Joe also encourages couples to date weekly, and get away at least once a year.)
  

• Establish family traditions.
  

• Create a family ID. (For more information see: http://familyid.familyvisionministry.org/)
  

• Take a family vacation.
  

• Lead nightly prayers.

About the Writer: Sarah Fletcher is managing editor of Treasure devotional guide. She and her husband Keith live in Johnston City, IL. Learn more at www.wnac.org.